Setting the Record Straight
by Aleia15
Summary: Kakashi overhears something he's not supposed to. Kakashi/Iruka


**Setting the Record Straight**

"You know, no matter how much you pine after Kakashi-sama, he's never going to look your way."

Kakashi stopped at those words, his rush to the mission room to turn in his report before it was too late halted by his own curiosity and a feeling of dread. _Not another fangirl fight._ It got old a long time ago, and no matter how many times he explained the girls he really wasn't interested in a relationship, they never gave up trying. Those fangirls were truly scary.

He'd even given up discouraging their outrageous stories about him, just so he didn't have to talk to them, but threatening another girl was just a bit too much.

He was tempted to go in the break room and finally set the record straight before it got out of hand. He froze at the new voice, which was one he wasn't expecting at all.

"You know, my feelings are mine, and you have no say in them."

Kakashi would have recognized Umino Iruka's voice anywhere; it featured prominently in many student's and jounin's nightmares. Especially after a bad report had been delivered. It had had a starring role in some of Kakashi's dreams lately as well, and not in the screaming-bloody-murder kind of way the rest of Konoha was used to.

"We're doing you a favour, Iruka-sensei." Another voice, one Kakashi recognized as Kinoshita Akane, the biggest pest of them all and a high ranking jounin, joined the argument. "We've seen the way you look at him, and you're going to end up hurt."

The way Iruka looked at him? As far as Kakashi knew, Iruka always looked at him as if he were the biggest annoyance in Konoha; and he talked to Kakashi, when he deigned to talk to him at all, as if he was a moron who couldn't do a report right. The last one was because Kakashi never bothered to do a report right if he was going to hand it to Iruka, but that was beside the point.

"Look, Akane-san," Iruka said, his voice calm and composed but Kakashi could hear the undercurrent of danger in that soft voice. They might not be friends, but Kakashi knew enough about Iruka to be aware that he despised being told what to do. Or not do, in this case. Kinoshita was in for a nasty surprise. "If I end up hurt, is my business and mine alone. Not you, not any of the other women, can tell me what I'm allowed to feel and for whom. Am I making myself clear?"

Crystal clear. Kakashi couldn't help the smile that curved his lips. He had liked Iruka's attitude since a long time ago, and the way he never took any shit from anyone. Especially Kakashi himself.

There was a loud scoff and some protests. Kakashi counted at least five people in the room by chakra signature and the voices. All of them were jounin except for Iruka. He wondered if he should intervene before it got out of hand.

But if Iruka hated being told what to do, that was nothing to what he probably felt about being rescued when he wasn't in real need of. Kakashi flattened himself against the wall next to the door, report forgotten, and eavesdropped shamelessly.

"How can you say that, Iruka-sensei?" This time it was Mariko's voice, an ex-ANBU Kakashi made the mistake of sleeping with once. Her voice was hard as flint, and there was a note of disgust in it. This was going to turn ugly very soon. "That you imagine Kakashi-sama," and that habit of her to idealize him and call him _sama_ had been the first thing to turn Kakashi off even when she was devastatingly beautiful, "is not going to be offended by your unnatural inclinations. That he might find a fag--"

She stopped short, some gasps from inside the room telling Kakashi Iruka had not liked being insulted.

"You say that word, Mariko-san," Iruka's voice was cold as ice and held the promise of pain to come. It sent a shiver down Kakashi's spine. He had never heard him sounding that deadly serious, and in spite of being a great turn on, he never wanted to. At least not directed at him. "And you will find exactly how good a chuunin schoolteacher's reflexes are, and why my classes are top of the Academy at Kunai practice."

Kakashi couldn't help the snicker that built in his throat. _You tell them Iruka-sensei!_ He rooted for him internally.

"This goes for all of you," Iruka said, obviously at the end of his tether. "Who I like and don't like is not your fucking problem, it's mine. It's not as if I intend to jump your _Kakashi-sama_," and the scorn at the name almost made Kakashi fall in love right there and then. He had nothing against Iruka's _unnatural inclinations_, he was very much _inclined_ to share them, pun intended. He had not wanted a relationship with anyone in the fan club, or any other person in Konoha wanting to date Sharingan Kakashi, or Kakashi-sama. Iruka, on the other hand, well--Kakashi was beginning to believe dating Iruka could be the best decision, and not as unattainable as he had previously considered. "You don't have to warn me off him, and let this be the last time you have the nerve to threaten or insult me. Chuunin or not, do not make the mistake of thinking me weak. I might not be as strong as you, but I'm not helpless."

Kakashi knew the show was over and quickly disguised himself as part of the wall. There was no way he'd get caught eavesdropping, and was murdered by Iruka, like that. Not before he got around asking Iruka on a date.

The door opened and Iruka left the break room, back straight and head held high. His eyes were flinty and his face was flushed with rightful indignation, his hand was steady on the door while he shot a parting glare at the assembled women inside. Kakashi felt like jumping him, he looked edible like that.

The moment the door was closed, however, all that attitude disappeared, shoulders hunching and something like despair clearly painted in Iruka's face. Kakashi frowned.

"Fuck!" Iruka whispered, a world of feeling in that one word, and he punched the wall close to where Kakashi's head was. Iruka didn't even flinch at the pain; he just took a deep breath and visibly composed himself under Kakashi's startled glance. "Damned hags," Iruka said in the same defeated and low tone. "I know perfectly well he's never going to be interested, you don't need to rub it in my face."

He left, shuffling down the hall towards the mission room, his posture straightening and his pace increasing the further away he got from Kakashi and the break room.

What the hell?

_I am interested!_ Kakashi wanted to shout after him, but he remained silent, staring after Iruka and thinking.

Maybe, if he played his cards well he could kill two birds with one stone.

"Yo, Ladies," Kakashi said opening the door to the break room, all the conversation halting at his presence. "I have to turn in a report and wondered if you want to come with me. I just heard some disquieting rumours and want to set the record straight."

He saw the way the women looked at him and smiled, nodding eagerly.

This was going to be fun.

…

Iruka reached the mission room feeling slightly more like himself, though he was still pretty pissed off and hurt. How dare those bloody bitches warn him off Kakashi? When had he ever made a move on the annoying jounin?

True, he was interested in him. More than just interested, if he was honest with himself, which he wasn't. But he had never considered it more than an unrequited infatuation, and he was fine with that. He knew Kakashi was popular, and rightly so. He also knew he gave himself to the girls in his fan club as if he as God's gift to womankind, or at least that was what they boasted shamelessly whenever Iruka was within earshot. Mariko specially would tell anyone who listened how handsome _Kakashi-sama_ was under his mask.

It was usually enough to make Iruka roll his eyes and feel like puking.

No, he entertained no foolish illusions of his affections ever being returned, and he could put up with being laughed at. But being threatened and insulted by those same hags? That was beyond the pale.

He took a deep breath to compose himself and took his seat at the mission desk, checking the reports that had been handed in his short absence. He noted disappointed that Kakashi's was not in the pile. He knew Kakashi was due that afternoon, and didn't feel like facing him after that conversation. He had hoped for some luck, but obviously some God hated him.

He had barely finished that though when the object of his musings entered the mission room, the women from the fan club following him closely. Kakashi looked at the women, something like mischief shinning in his one uncovered eye.

Iruka had a very bad feeling.

He steeled himself when Kakashi walked up to him. Why the prick insisted in delivering his reports personally to Iruka was beyond his understanding.

"Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said, smiling that infuriating smile under his mask.

"Kakashi-san," Iruka acknowledged him, holding out his hand to grab the report. He wasn't even going to scold him today if his report was up to his usual standards. He didn't feel like spending more time than necessary with Kakashi.

Iruka blinked when no report was forthcoming. He frowned at Kakashi.

"I was wondering, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi began, dark amusement lurking in his voice. He darted a look at the women and then turned his entire attention back to Iruka. "If you would like to have dinner with me."

Iruka's heart stopped for a second, the blood freezing in his veins. Had Kakashi just invited him out? Why? He heard a shocked gasp in the background, Kakashi's intent stare on his face. And then came the snicker.

Iruka saw red. The utter bastard!

He stood up so quickly he knocked his chair back, the clatter of it crashing against the floor drowned by the pounding of his heart and the blood rushing to his face. He was so furious he was almost apoplectic.

"I don't appreciate being made fun of, Hatake-san," he spat in a deadly whisper. His eyes shining with righteous fury. He noticed how Kakashi took a startled step back, a look or puzzlement crossing his features. "I don't know what they," he shot a venomous look at the women, who were still sniggering among themselves, "promised you if you did this, but you've crossed the line there."

Kakashi looked back at the women, his eye narrowing in fury, and then turned back to Iruka.

"Iruka-sensei, wait--"

Iruka was feeling too angry and hurt to listen to Kakashi. He didn't care if he was in the middle of work; he needed to get away from there before he murdered Konoha's most valuable shinobi for being a complete and utter asshole.

He went round the desk and headed to the door, not caring what anyone in the room thought.

"Iruka!"

He rounded on Kakashi. "What? Do you find funny that I might be attracted to you?" He said loudly, completely unconcerned that they had an audience. "I know you don't swing that way, _they_ make it perfectly clear every single day, but I didn't think you would be so much of a prick to go along with them in this. I wasn't going to bother you with it, Hatake-san. Now you don't have to worry, you have completely cured me of my infatuation." He turned around to leave before Kakashi could react.

He never even made it to the door. A vise like grip clamped on his wrist, and he was forcibly turned to look at Kakashi.

"They didn't put me up to this, and trust me, I _swing_ that way. To be more precise, I swing _your_ way." Kakashi's voice was deadly serious as it was his expression. Iruka frowned at the tone and the way the mission room fell completely silent, everyone hanging on to Kakashi's every word. "And yes, I slept with Mariko _once_, and I had to have been completely off my rocker, because she's been pestering me since then. By the way, she's the only one of them to ever have anything with me."

Iruka risked a look at the women and saw them blushing furiously; some of them even had the grace to look embarrassed. Mariko didn't. She looked livid. Kakashi turned to look at them.

"I don't like being followed around, and I don't like being called _Kakashi-sama_ as if I was a noble or the bloody Hokage. I'm a shinobi, not a celebrity. I don't need or want a fan club. I shouldn't have let things get to this point, but I thought if I ignored it, it would go away." He sighed loudly, annoyance still clear in his voice. "Obviously it didn't."

He turned to Iruka again, who was fighting the urge to burst out laughing at the women's expressions. This was sweet revenge; maybe the Gods really loved him.

And maybe his infatuation with Kakashi wasn't as one sided as he had believed.

"Now, Iruka," Kakashi said finally letting go of his arm. Iruka rubbed his wrist where Kakashi had held it with more force than necessary. "Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? Or have I cured you so well of your infatuation you won't give me that chance now?"

Iruka finally allowed himself a chuckle.

"I'll give you that chance," he said with a mischievous smile, "and a lot more than that if you want." He pitched his voice low enough so Kakashi was the only one who heard the last part. He felt a pleasant shiver running down his spine at the heat he saw in that expressive eye.

Kakashi leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "I think we've given enough of a spectacle for today or I'd kiss you right now, but I don't want any of those hags to see my face or I would never get rid of them."

Iruka nodded, feeling the heat radiating off Kakashi's body and wishing they were alone. But he could wait.

Kakashi took a step back. "I'll pick you up at seven, Iruka sensei," he said and turned to the women with a friendly wave. "Oh, and I have to thank you, Akane-san, Mariko. If you had not threatened Iruka in a public place where _anyone_ might overhear, I would have never thought I had a chance with him. You know, I didn't believe he shared my _unnatural inclinations._"

He left with that parting remark, Iruka shaking with laughter under the murderous stares of the members of Kakashi's fan club. The rest of the mission room was also laughing, some of the jounin's sharing knowing looks and whispering among themselves.

Iruka didn't even care he was going to be the next piece of juicy gossip in Konoha. He had a date with Kakashi and had gotten his perfect revenge on the fan club hags, all in one stroke.

Some deity definitely loved him.

…

*Fin*


End file.
